The Joy of Suffering

Psalm 25 (26): 2-3

Proba me, Domine,  et tenta me.

Ure renes meos et cor meum.

Quoniam misericordia tua ante oculos meos est,

Et ambulari in vertate tua.

Examine me, Lord, and try me;

O test my heart and my mind,

For your love is before my eyes

And I walk according to your truth.

The Douay-Rheims translates “ure renes meos et cor meum” as “burn my reins and my heart”, which is clearly a more literal translation. Either way, these verses captured my attention during Vigils the other night. Funny, isn’t it, how you can read the same verses over and over, and different ones make an impression on you at different times?

That night, I read the verses over several times and savored them. I want the Lord to try me, to test my heart and mind; and yet, I always complain when He does! I thought about St. Therese and her willingness to be a Victim Soul. I had a little talk with Our Lady about it. I told Her I am willing to make the same offer, if God desires it. There is a part of me that wants to be a Victim, the way St. Therese was, or the way little Blessed Jacinta was. Sometimes I think I can really understand the joy that St. Therese felt in her suffering.

And yet, if I can imagine joy in that kind of suffering, why can’t I endure the little irritations and inconveniences that confront me on a daily, even hourly, basis?! I ask Blessed Jacinta to help me with that, and try to remember to pray as the children of Fatima did: “Lord Jesus, I offer it for love of you, for the conversion of poor sinners, and in reparation for the sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary.”